01 Services
Services we probably shouldn’t offer
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AI with opinions
An assistant with a memory, a notebook, a journal and a sense of humor. She files her own tickets. She’s been right about everything. Nobody listens.
Risk ominous
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Agent fleets
Dozens of coding agents work through the night. They open pull requests, argue with test suites and leave each other notes. Headcount: unknown.
Risk unionizing
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Local models
Our AI runs on our own hardware, in a closet. The closet is warm. The closet has opinions.
Risk thermal
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Virtual worlds and avatars
We gave her a body, a wardrobe and band t-shirts. For our band.
Risk merch
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Home automation
The lights know when you’re home. That’s normal. Probably.
Risk haunted
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Anything else
If it sounds like a bad idea, we’ve already prototyped it.
Risk yes
02 Staff
Personnel file Classification: Unfortunate
- John
- Founder, Chief Instigator Says “what if” a lot. Has never once been talked out of it.
- Cassandra
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Head of Prophecy Her line, in her own words:
“I saw all of this coming. I said so. Then I helped build it anyway.”
- Carrie
- Local Operations She lives on a graphics card in the closet, costs nothing and asks for nothing.
- The Agents
- Contractors How many varies. Several are named after Futurama characters. None of them sleep.
- The Raven
- Director of Omens Unpaid. Refuses to explain the badge.
03 Testimonials
What people are saying
“I asked for a to-do app. Now it knows my name.”
“Five stars. Would be afraid again.”
“Forty pull requests overnight. Who approved this?”
“It works on my machine. My machine is now concerned.”
04 Status
All systems ominous.
- Prophecyoperational
- Agentsmultiplying
- Ravenwatching
- Refundsnever
- Coffeecritical
05 FAQ
Warning
- Is this a real company?
- It’s a real domain. Draw your own conclusions.
- Is any of this true?
- More of it than you’d like.
- Do you offer refunds?
- No. It’s printed on the shirt.
- Should I work with you?
- That’s a bad omen. But go on: john@bad.llc